Running From Myself

Well, it was bound to happen and it always happens like this, from out of nowhere a sense of the futility of Second Life hits. In the past, I didn’t recognize the signs and I got confused and cranky and blue, but I have wised up in the two years I’ve been here. Now, I can recognize what’s happening; now I know that I’m bored. In the past, there really wasn’t an obvious reason but this time there is.

I’m bored with my SL romantic life especially. So few SL men seem to have any understanding of or skill at romance (this romance thing really needs some definition, doesn’t it), and the guys that do are married in real life (this is complicate, more on this some other time) or already committed or just aren’t here enough. I love my girlfriends and try to be a good a friend to all my girlfriends, but if there was no possibility of finding romance in SL then I doubt that I’d be here very often. Geez, this is a place where we can really let our passions free, and yet so many guys say they are “Just me” (btw, when I hear that, I picture a guy with a beer gut, thumbing thru the nudes in Playboy).

I also feel alone among people who view SL as just an extension of their real lives. I view SL as a place to leave my real life behind and become involved in a world of the imagination, but many people don’t. I know I’ve upset some people because I don’t seek to know who they are in real life, but rather, I prefer to know who they are and want to be in their second life (I’m not a zealot about this but it is an issue). My point of view isolates me from a lot of people, especially people focused on making real life connections.

I’m irritated that Yordie Sands has a more interesting life than I do. There, I’ve said it and, yes, it is ridiculous but true. A lot of people assert that their real lives are just great, but mine is not great. My real life is ok, but it is not great. The truth is that I enjoy being in SL too much. Since I left Seattle a few years ago, I’ve had virtually no pressing, day-to-day responsibilities. I do plenty of things but nothing I do compels me to be anywhere at any particular time. And I’ve been sailing along in my real life without a rudder. Yordie Sands has more day-to-day responsibilities than I do.

Yeah, it has hit again, another blue period. In the past, I’ve always just left Second Life for awhile, running away from being Yordie Sands. Of course, that was like running from myself. Maybe this time I’ll just do a fade out till this thing passes.

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About Yordie

I'm an avatar in Second Life where I star as the heroine of a virtual fantasy life. In the real world, I'm writing my debut sci-fi novel.
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2 Responses to Running From Myself

  1. leannachaffe says:

    Hugs Yordie……I’m always here for you. You are my best friend….. Leanna

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  2. Yordie Sands says:

    I know, Lele… but sometimes this thing just hits me… it's like a powerful force and it's not something I can fight… I'll be ok.. .it just takes time… hugzzz, Yordie

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