Several guys I’ve met in Second Life think they know me, they think they’ve got me all figured out, and maybe they do. Last Saturday at the Junkyard, a guy sent me an IM and I tried to explain to him it’s difficult for me to chat in IM while hosting. He responded, “Yeah. And probably even more difficult to get into bed.” Oh my, he sure has me figured out!

I’m here at the Junkyard, because there are so many things that conjur up feelings from my human’s past, especially her childhood. She lived on the Florida Keys and her family’s home was on the Gulf side. So much of the JY is reminiscent of the way things are on those Gulf waters, and the part of me that is human is drawn here.

Many people are proud to say that they are the same in both worlds. But I don’t think anyone is the same. I’ve said this before, unless you look identical to your avatar (and that isn’t possible) then you aren’t the same in both worlds. Yes, of course, many people are very similar to who they are in real life, but if you’re an avatar you just aren’t the same as you are in real life.

The reason this topic came up is, I had a chat with Aynnie the other day and I opened up to her about why I try not to bring my real life in-world. I think Aynnie knows me as well as anyone and she knows quite a bit about my human too, but Ayn like so many others perfers for both worlds to be connected. I learned that she feels it would be difficult to separate the two worlds, and that was an enlightening distinction for me. You see, it’s not difficult for me at all.

No one in SL knows my human’s real name. No one knows her age but everyone knows she’s at least 39+ and has been for a couple years now. *giggles* No one has her phone number or address but some people know the town where she lives. A few people have seen my human’s real life photo, but she stopped giving that out because she realized the people who wanted to get to know her, wanted to know her and not me. (Am I starting to sound schizo? hehe) And by the way, I don’t like to see the RL photos of other avies. I use my human’s voice from time to time with some people because I’ve been told that her voice is consistant with my persona, but I am aware that using voice is a close connection between the two worlds. Also, the people who read my blog get an intimate view of my thoughts and feelings, but my human would never reveal these feelings in a blog. I’m taller than my human. My hair is more luxurious and far easier to manage than my human’s. And I maintain my figure with no effort whatsoever, no matter what my human eats. Does it make sense that I believe my human and I are different?

In so many ways, I reveal myself to others and yet many people still can’t accept that I am an avatar and not my human. I suppose many would say I’m Role Playing, and I know that some consider role play to be insincere or worse, lying. I’ve even had some people respond to my desire to keep my real life private with contempt, literally with contempt.

People think they know me, and if they accept me as Yordie Sands then I think they really do know me. But the people who think they know my human, they are wasting their time because they just can’t let me be who I am, “… an avatar from Second Life where I star as the heroine of my own life.”