It’s springtime in Second Life New England, but its freezing here in my real world. Six or more inches of snow outside, icicles hanging from the eaves. It’s pretty but the cold just makes a hard times harder.
In the past week, there’s way too much traffic running through my mind. It’s been hard to focus. I find myself forgetting things. I find it difficult to read anything and harder to comprehend what I’ve read. I find it hard to write. I can’t think of the right word to use. And when I look at what I’ve written it seems buried in wordiness.
I always keep a lot of things going on in my second life. I always have projects and activities lined up. I always need more clothes. I always need more friendships. I always make more promises. I always need to do more exploring. Those things are who I am. And it all works, sorta, until tidal waves sweep through.
The controlled chaos of the life I live is now just plain chaos. I’m struggling on too many levels. My human is struggling with her issues; I’m struggling with mine. (Yes, I still know we are the same person.) There are several inworld issues that I should really try to confront but I don’t know where to begin, and all of them will only cause me grief whether I try or not. But my real life issues are my top priority.
|I took this photo to depict that
I feel like a bird in the Amazon. I’ve heard that even if a bird is sick, it keeps chirping like the other birds so predators won’t know it’s weak. Eventutally, the bird just falls and drops dead.
If I’ve promised you I was gonna do something, I’ll get to it when I can. If you want me to do something, I just can’t.
I need some breathing space. I need to simplify my second life and I’m sorry if this hurts anyone.
If you are a friend, I know you are, but please just let these things just sort themselves out.
As I’ve said many times, blogging has become part of who I am in SL, so I’ll keep on chirping here. I don’t know how long it will take to get back to what used to my normal second life, but I’m trying.