RFL 2012 – Remembering My Own

Stopped along the RFL 2012 track,
thinking about all these candlelit bags.

I’m in Relay for Life 2012 as I write this. I am standing beside the road. I just had to stop to write about my feelings. I’ve been to other Relay for Life events this year and in the past. And in the past, and to the extent possible, I tried to view the events through the lens of someone who has sympathy for those who have lost family. And I’ve managed to bury my feelings about my own family.

But this RFL was different for me. As I walked the track, I observed the little candlelit bags on the roadside. I saw the names of several people I know who had purchased bags, and I was touched and felt sympathy. In all the other RFL events, I’ve not allowed myself to dwell on the fact that my mother and father both died of cancer.

But here’s what happened just a short while ago. I bought a couple of these roadside candle lit bags. I bought one for my mom and one for my dad, and when their names appeared I found myself overwhelmed by memories and emotions. Both of my parents died far too early in their lives. I was only 22 when my mom died. All of these memories overcame me.

So I had to walk on.

I walked a little further down the road and remembered that I have an aunt who was very dear to me, and she died of cancer. So, I bought her a bag. There was an uncle too. And again emotions hit me.

These little roadside bags pack an enormous punch if you are trying to bury sadness in your heart.

These little roadside bags are a good thing because they remind you of the toll this disease we call cancer takes on a family. I’ve lived without my mother for over half my life and today I was reminded of that.

Maybe this post is just too emotional. And I don’t want anyone to really know this much about my real life. Maybe I’ll have to put it in archive tommorrow or the next day, but for now I need to make this statement. It’s a terrible disease and a lot of people here in SL have done a lot of work to make it easy for us to contribute money to help. Just sayin’

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About Yordie

I'm an avatar in Second Life where I star as the heroine of a virtual fantasy life. In the real world, I'm writing my debut sci-fi novel.
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10 Responses to RFL 2012 – Remembering My Own

  1. Wow Yordie. A beautiful, sublime piece. An amazing personal story for you, and also a reminder of how “real” our little “virtual” world can be.

    If you don’t decide to hide it in the archive… you might like to reblog it over at our place.

    Either way, thanks for sharing, it’s a powerful piece. Bittersweet, yet somehow inspiring.

    Like

    • Yordie Sands says:

      The thing about that pieces is, i feel very exposed emotionally. i’ve rarely talked about my real life like that because there is a lot of pain. i’ll think about re-blogging it, but i think it needs a lot of editing if it’s going on iRez. this as spur of the moment and i wasn’t thinking very clearly as i wrote it.. just spewing.

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      • It’s totally up to you Yordie. I’m not at all pushing you any farther than you’d like to go. Maybe just keep it on your blog… or maybe you’ll “archive” it later…

        Really I was just saying that it was a beautiful / powerful post… and IF you wanted to share it over at our place it’d be a nice contribution… we constantly ask if avatars are “real”… and that’s a story about avatars walking around an “imaginary” course… yet it’s very real…

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        • Yordie Sands says:

          No no, you aren’t pushing at all. I’ve just got this blog move in progress and my natural inclanation on this one (because it’s so personal) is to back away. and tommorrow is a big day too with regard to personal things, so i’ve got all that going too.

          How do i do a re-blog? I mean, how to i get the right categories and tags? i’m not opposed to trying this. is it complicated?

          Like

          • When you’re logged in to wordpress.com and viewing any wordpress.com blog, you’ll see the WP toobar up top… In between the LIKE button and the “Spark Line” (site hits in last 48 hours) is the “REBLOG” button.

            When you click it you can specify which of the blogs you’re an author on that you’d like it to go to. For example, Ironyca has both posted on her blog and then reblogged to iRez, and she’s posted on iRez and reblogged to her blog.

            You can write a sentence or few saying “oh I found this (or wrote it) and here I thought it was good”

            You can’t actually (that I know of) do categories & featured image right then… so I just hit REBLOG

            and then go to the place I sent it, iRez, and edit it there and give it a Title, Cats, Tags, Featured Image

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          • Yordie Sands says:

            I go for the re-blog. only problem is my mind is friend again. i played around with a summer look for the new blog. not sure i like it. not sure i like this template, too narrow. not particularly thrilled, not embarrassed though. heh. maybe i should be. hehe

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          • hahaha, your mind is SO Friend… that you typed Fried!

            or something like that! 😀

            The blog looks good! And you have all eternity to noodle with it.

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          • Yordie Sands says:

            erm… i thought it was friend, but not that friend. hahaha

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  2. Yordie Sands says:

    Thanks to those who’ve read this post and commented here and other forums. I really appreciate the feelings. I’m very uncomfortable opening up like this, but I’m going to leave this post. Kindest regards to everyone who has lost loved ones to cancer. I truly feel you pain.

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  3. I think it is wonderful that you have shared this Yordie. Thank you for your bravery to not only participate and acknowledge your feelings at RLF, but to share them here too. I think there’s no shame to do so. It puts all the more dimension to your personality here on the blog, to our relation to you in SL, and brings us closer to “your human” connection. It is amazing how little things we sometimes experience on our computer monitor are so connected to our RL experiences beyond the monitor. I’ve lit and placed SL candles inworld for RL people. Seeing their names acknowledged anywhere can be a powerful reminder of your connection to them. As for the RFL roadside bags, you could say they “let the emotions out of the bag,” so to speak!

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