I’m in Relay for Life 2012 as I write this. I am standing beside the road. I just had to stop to write about my feelings. I’ve been to other Relay for Life events this year and in the past. And in the past, and to the extent possible, I tried to view the events through the lens of someone who has sympathy for those who have lost family. And I’ve managed to bury my feelings about my own family.
But this RFL was different for me. As I walked the track, I observed the little candlelit bags on the roadside. I saw the names of several people I know who had purchased bags, and I was touched and felt sympathy. In all the other RFL events, I’ve not allowed myself to dwell on the fact that my mother and father both died of cancer.
But here’s what happened just a short while ago. I bought a couple of these roadside candle lit bags. I bought one for my mom and one for my dad, and when their names appeared I found myself overwhelmed by memories and emotions. Both of my parents died far too early in their lives. I was only 22 when my mom died. All of these memories overcame me.
So I had to walk on.
I walked a little further down the road and remembered that I have an aunt who was very dear to me, and she died of cancer. So, I bought her a bag. There was an uncle too. And again emotions hit me.
These little roadside bags pack an enormous punch if you are trying to bury sadness in your heart.
These little roadside bags are a good thing because they remind you of the toll this disease we call cancer takes on a family. I’ve lived without my mother for over half my life and today I was reminded of that.
Maybe this post is just too emotional. And I don’t want anyone to really know this much about my real life. Maybe I’ll have to put it in archive tommorrow or the next day, but for now I need to make this statement. It’s a terrible disease and a lot of people here in SL have done a lot of work to make it easy for us to contribute money to help. Just sayin’