As readers know, I’ve been kind of on-again/off-again with my second life since declaring it’s “Time to Say Goodbye” to Second Life. That was back in February and even though I’ve returned to SL to participate in a few events since then, the truth is I don’t know what will become of my virtual life, be it SL or InWorldz or Xbox or whatever.
“You’re Really Gone”
Even though I don’t know for sure what will become of my virtual life, a couple months ago my friend Leanna said to me, in her always insightful manner, “You are really gone”. She caught me a little off guard because I wasn’t so sure that I was gone, but LeLe was right. The spell SL once held over me had been broken, and I am both happy and a bit unsettled. There are times I wish I could just hurl myself back into the life I once knew.
But I’m Still Here
There’s no point in rehashing my reasons for leaving SL, I’ve done that ad nauseam already, and the truth I’m not sure there’s a single reason for why I chose to leave Second Life. And there’s no way of explaining why I still flutter into SL from time to time, then disappear again.
Wandering Down Every Byway
I’ve been a difficult person to understand over the past year, but I’m not trying to be difficult. Since leaving my Second Life, almost a year ago, I’ve struggled to create a new way of life that allows me to adapt to real world changes while still holding onto some part of my virtual life. Unfortunately, I’ve wandered into many forks in the road and at each fork I’ve tried to travel down both pathways.
Wandering down every byway, while often amusing, has been a frustrating decision making process. And changes in my real life have presented me with many choices I’ve been unable to make, such that with each choice not made (a kind of choice in itself) I’ve added to the complexity of my life.
Finding the Main Road
Regardless of how I got here, I’ve find myself at another fork in the road and this one seems to beckon me to make a choice or just walk away from my dream. On one side of the road is more aimless wandering and on the other, a very demanding road. Naturally, I’ve chosen the rough road. (*smiles*) Here’s the thing though, this will be my main road for the coming months, starting in 2014.
Breathing Life into My Novel
In the recent past I’ve mentioned that I’ve been researching a novel. I’ve been doing this research for well over a decade, it’s how I’ve spent many late nights and early mornings. Friends have told me that I don’t need to do all the research I’ve done, but the research fascinates me. And stories of others I’ve enjoyed most are those that don’t ask me to make too great a “suspension of disbelief”.
The truth is, my novel project is by far too ambitious for someone with my skill set and education. The historic, scientific and other technical subject matters take me far beyond my knowledge. But I love the story that’s brewing, it’s themes and characters and settings, and I’m not afraid of failure. However, I am afraid of not being able to finish the project.
Yordie Sands – A Second Blog
This blog, Being Yordie Sands, has been about my life in a virtual world. I’ll probably continue to write about my virtual life in the future but I’ve decided that my novel needs a blog of its own. The new blog is about the writing of the novel, nothing else.
Any way I look at this novel though, it’s time for me to pump up the volume around here and make the jump from research, character profiles, themes, entities, timelines, outlines and such, and to formalizing this story I’ve been carrying around inside me. The biggest concern I have is, I don’t have a truly satisfying ending for the story, yet!